Back From Vacation (5 day collective)

012: Time is so stretchy. It can be long, or short and snug. 

I just took a 6 day vacation with my brother and sister to go to Michigan for a festival called Electric Forest. I spent my birthday weekend at a very big and interesting party of sorts. 

We walked and walked and walked and walked and danced. We saw amazing art and listened to a bunch of awesome music. We laughed a lot. More than I’ve laughed in a long time that’s for sure. We made friends with our camping neighbors who all turned out so dope this year. We traded stories instead of playing cards and appreciation instead of disregard. We set up camp and tore it down together. We did acroyoga. Oh yeah and we all had very limited reception during this trip so we weren’t on our phones very much either. Which was awesome at the time, but responding and getting back to everyone after 5 days of no phone use is a daunting task, one which I have yet to fully complete. If I owe you a message or phone call, it’s happening by tomorrow. 

I’m not sure what my creative intention was with bringing my camera. I thought I was going to want to do video stuff like I usually do, but weirdly I was pulled more towards capturing stills. 

I didn’t write very much while I was there, but I did have a few notable “aha” moments. I did a lot of deep breathing too because I would randomly get this shock factor reminder that everything was going to be completely different when I got back. It didn’t really hit me because I made that decision and just like left, so now I get to go home and live in it. Which sounds dark, but actually I’m really into it. Thankfully there are projects that need to be taken care of asap which means I get to work as soon as I get settled. I’m writing this from the car with about two hours left to go. It’s a 16 hour drive. We left last night if that tells you anything. 

I am desperately in need of a shower, wifi, and a good stretch. For now I’m writing this to go with the shots I finished editing while half-listening to Bullet For My Valentine as my brother makes his way across I-44.

I reflected on a lot this weekend, but not in my usual overly-analytical way. I just looked at everything really big picture. I haven’t dared to look at things like that in a long time because I have been so “what’s right in front of me” focused these past couple years. I realized it’s easier working to bring someone else’s vision to life. It allows me to fulfill ambitions without the risk of extreme failure, because ultimately it wouldn’t be “my” thing. It allows me to avoid character building conversations such as those regarded in “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott.  And so in that I realize that I posses the “fear of failure” tick that so many gurus label the death mark. If you had asked me two weeks ago if I was afraid of failure I would have told you no. The truth is that would have been my arrogance speaking. It seems that the fear of failure doesn’t just tarnish upon polish after polish. What really happens is that we become accustomed to it. The smartest and most daring become so well acquainted with fear, they treat it as their guide to the ultimate self. There’s this book called “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. That is where this idea was first sown into me. I return to it often because until recently I thought I understood how that played out in my life. When I looked closer, it was clear I had misinterpreted the lesson for my own reasonings. Lame, but whatever. Now I know, so if that behavior comes back up I’m gonna to karate chop it in the throat. 

Anyways here are some of my favorite shots from the trip. Some of them are just cool memories for me. I’m actually going to post all the photos from this trip on an instagram page called @EF2017_2 if you wanna check it out.  

 

sarah zubairComment