How I Win Friends & Influence People


So far my 20’s have proven to me that all those cheesy sayings are cheesy sayings for a reason. Anyone else feel that way? 

Things are changing and I’m trying to figure out who I want to be and I want to do. 

I try to seek mentors in all areas of my life. It doesn’t matter what it is I want to do, I know there’s someone out there who has already accomplished it. 

The only thing that’s left to do is to connect with these people. At first, I thought it was kind of weird. Then I realized that 99% of the time, these individuals share almost everything they know if you simply ask. 

I think God’s greatest gift to me was the ability to talk to anyone about anything. I don’t know how it happened but I wasn’t born like this that’s for sure. It was a curation over time. Stacking one dimensional experiences to eventually have a formative three dimensional personality. 

Anyone can do it. In fact there’s this book that I stayed away from for over four years because it seemed like the most disgusting and downright horrid piece of published writing ever. Many of you have heard of it. It’s called “How To Win Friends & Influence People”.

Let me explain why I had such a negative presumption about the book. All of it had to do with it’s title. Remember that cheesy saying: "don’t judge a book by it’s cover", this is an example of a cheesy saying being true. Although it’s a literal example (ha ha), this book spoke to me on a sincere level once I finally gave it a chance. I listened to the audio version and then bought a physical copy because I loved it so much. See the thing is that book didn’t teach me how to be a insincere person like I thought the title showcased. It pointed out to me the behaviors I exhibit in conversations already and why people respond to me on a deep level. Understanding those things allowed me to dig even deeper and forge my personality as a conversationalist. Forgive me if this sounds arrogant, but I’ve always known I had the ability to influence others through conversations. I was always afraid of that because I use to think that there was a fine line between influence and manipulation. Truth is, it’s not a fine line, its big thick dark black line. And that line is called ethics. Let me tell you something important I learned the hard way recently, you know when you like someone but you just have a weird feeling about them? That's your ethics radar telling you to watch out. Why are ethics so important? The importance lies with the realization that ones ethical nature will determine the quality of their relationships. The most important thing to me is human relationships. Learning the intricacies of personalities. Finding the individualities in ones life story. That is what brings me joy. Those conversations are what give me hope for a better life. 

Sometimes I get asked questions about finding success in work ambitions and my answer is always the same. Learn people. People are the source of everything. People are the reason you will find success. People are the reason you will have your most significant memories. All in all, people will be how you expand your consciousness. Expanding your consciousness is how people become successful. No successful human has ever done so by spending their entire life in the same limited mental state. 

Now that we’re on the same page I’m going to give you the one and only step you need. Step out of your comfort zone. Yup. Cheesy saying truth number 2. Life happens outside of your comfort zone. You want a phenomenal life? Be prepared to be phenomenally uncomfortable. 

sarah zubairComment